Practical, Science-Based Steps to Heal from an Affair

Many years ago, in the Clinton era, I was asked to do an interview on whether Hillary and Bill would make it through Bill’s affair. Responding psychologically rather than politically, my answer was to say, “If couples didn’t make it through affairs, the divorce rate would be even higher than it is now.” Working through an affair is tough. It takes tremendous energy and vulnerability on both sides. Drs. John and Julie Gottman have developed the Trust Revival Method, with three defined stages of treatment: Atonement, Attunement, and Attachment. The effectiveness…

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Once Trust is Broken, Can it Be Healed?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJB6jvAzsbQ Affairs can completely rock a marriage. In this video, psychotherapist Esther Perel discusses that while infidelity can shatter trust, it doesn't mean couples can't find a way to rebuild their relationships. Watch this video to learn more.

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How to Rebuild Trust With Someone in Addiction Recovery

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06-WkvdvKwA Addiction takes a heavy toll on relationships, but with some work and an open heart, trust can be rebuilt. In this video by The Cabin Addiction Services Group, it discusses five tips for repairing your relationship with your recovering loved one. Note: I work hard to use affirming language. This is third party video and I want to point out that it is best not to use the term addict. It is better to use person first language- person in recovery. Thanks!

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How Therapy Can Help Couples in Addiction Recovery

Healthy relationships and substance abuse do not mix. In fact, I would argue it is absolutely impossible to have a successful relationship with a partner who is abusing substances. Substance use disorders have a way of causing harm to the entire family, not just the individual using. Couples impacted by substance abuse often experience: Problems with intimacy and sexual function in the relationshipPoor communicationIncreased verbal abuse and physical violence. Substance abuse has been found to co-occur in 40-60% of intimate partner violence incidents across various studies.A parent with a substance…

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What Happens to the Brain During Conflict in Relationships? (Part 1 of 2)

When you experience conflict in your relationship, do you wonder why it is so hard to stop the conflict from escalating? In this video, Carlene Lehmann, a licensed marriage and family therapist, shares what is going on in your and your loved one's brain and nervous system. Understanding how to work with your nervous system can help you deescalate your conflicts.

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6 Skills to Help Couples Manage Conflict

by Carlene Lehmann, M.A., LMFT Conflict happens in all relationships. It is manageable. For everyone who has ever been in a relationship, they all have experienced the same thing: conflict and fights. Conflict is one of the most common features of relationships of every type. And that is normal. Expect to experience disagreements, conflict and fights in your relationships.  What you do not need to expect, is that those fights, that initial conflict, to spiral out of control. Conflict is manageable, and you and your partner can grow from it. Conflict…

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