Do you remember how it felt to be in love? You had a spring in your step, a smile on your face, and no one could get you down. You were walking on air, feeling great, and losing weight! Then what happened?
Life got busy. It brought you challenges and stress that made you lose sight of what you once had. But the good news is that spark is still there. It just needs to be unearthed and rekindled so it can burn bright once again.
You don’t have to let the distance you feel go on any longer. You have the power to rekindle and bring back the passion you once felt. You deserve to have the joyful partnership you crave with your partner. Are you ready to give it a try?
These 8 tips can help you reignite that passion you once felt–
1) Foster emotional intimacy
Create an environment of closeness and safety by taking time to listen to your partner. Be curious about their feelings. Make the effort to understand where they are coming from. Open, honest, and kind communication builds trust and security where emotional intimacy can flourish.
2) Talk about your expectations
Be open and discuss what your expectations are. Knowing what your partner is needing and wanting can help lower any uneasy feelings. Each situation may be different and it can be helpful to know what each of you is up for in that moment.
3) Make time to make out
It may not seem sexy to schedule in time for your sexual needs, but it can slip away with busy schedules. Setting time that you both are available and resourced helps you put the focus on connecting. Pencil in some time for making love on your calendars.
4) Know yourself, know your body, know your needs, and then communicate what you know
Take time to explore your body and see what you enjoy and feel comfortable with. What are your needs in the bedroom? Need certain things for foreplay- kiss, touching, taking it slow? When you know what you like, let your partner know. You can tell them or send them sexy texts of what you’d like to try.
5) Recognize that great sex begins in your relationship, not just in your bedroom
How we interact on a daily basis effects our sex life. Respect and kindness are important and create connection. A kind word to let your partner know you appreciate them. Helping out with the dishes or putting the kids to bed.
6) Get out of your routine
Try something new. Be adventurous and playful. Share your fantasies and curiosities with each other. Make sure that you are both comfortable with the things you try in order to create safety. Spicing it up can help you learn new things about yourself and partner.
7) Focus on affectionate touch
Have regular times to be affectionate throughout the day without the pressure of it leading to intercourse. This can give you and your partner time to just hang out and be together. Reach out with a tender touch before getting out of bed. Kiss and hug each other every morning before one or both of you leave the house. Reach across the table or the couch to hold your spouse’s hand.
8) Get Help When You Need It
If you feel your emotional relationship heading downward, you may want to consider seeking help from a couple’s therapist. You may have grown apart, hurt each other without meaning to, avoided intimacy for personal reasons, or become distracted by the demands of life. These problems can often be solved with dedication, time, and sincere attention.
Carlene Lehmann, M.A., LMFT is a Marriage and Family Therapist at Relationships Matter Austin in Austin, Texas. Struggling to find the love you once felt? Carlene can help you rekindle the passion you once felt and increase your intimacy with your partner. To schedule your appointment with Carlene, you can reach her at (512) 994-0432 or request an appointment with her on the Relationships Matter Austin Scheduling Page.