Resources on Racism and Inequality

Out of respect for the recent deaths of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery and the many who came before them, we are posting information to help educate on racism and inequality and empower you to help create a new world where we all can be safe, respected, and treated with dignity. Here are some resources from Esther Perel that we want to share with you: We’re in a moment that highlights the fault lines in our society. I ask you to consider the difference between solidarity and reform. To…

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Parenting During Times of Stress

By Sara Firestone, M.A., AMFT With more schools and offices closing each day due to the COVID-19 pandemic, most parents are finding themselves at home with their kids around the clock. And while it is necessary for our physical health to practice social distancing or sheltering in place during this strange time, it is likely to take a toll on our mental health. No matter how much you love your children, being stuck at home with them indefinitely would be challenging even for the most patient and grounded parent. That being…

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A.R.E. You There? Qualities for a Strong Relationship

By Ondina N. Hatvany, MFT What is the secret ingredient that makes a relationship thrive? Dr. Sue Johnson, who founded EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy), the most researched couples therapy model (1), has studied this question extensively. She has been able to distill the answer to this key question down to its bare essentials: What truly makes a relationship thrive and provides the key to long-lasting love is emotional responsiveness. What emotional responsiveness is and how it works is outlined by the acronym A.R.E. (Note: The principles of A.R.E. can also be applied with equal…

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Taking A Time Out

By Carlene Lehmann, LMFT The acronym HALTS is very useful to help us recognize when when we aren't at our best physically, mentally, and emotionally. HALTS stands for hungry, angry, lonely, tired, and stressed. When we are feeling these ways we are more likely to react and get defensive. It is not the best time to try to talk about a challenging issue with our loved one. It is also important to notice if any of these feelings come up during an interaction. When we notice that we aren't resourced…

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Loving Firmness in Your Relationships for Couples and Parents

By Carlene Lehmann, LMFT I first heard of the term "Loving Firmness" from Terry Real, psychotherapist and creator of Relational Life Therapy. It is bringing kindness and firmness together. It helps us to be assertive without being aggressive. How can we develop loving firmness? It is where you cherish your partner or child, yourself, and your relationship in equal measure. You are able to speak up and have your voice heard without having to be harsh. Instead of criticism and contempt, you treat your partner or child with the same…

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How to ATTUNE In Your Relationship

“They don’t listen to me.” This is one of the most common complaints of some of my couple clients. The good news is there is a way to overcome this struggle. One of the best strategies for learning to listen well in our marriage has come from Dr. John Gottman. He refers to the practice as ATTUNEMENT. The process is not rocket science, but its impact is powerful. Just as it takes a few regular adjustments to tune your favorite radio station in while on a car ride, listening well…

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6 Simple Ways to Ground Yourself To Calm Down Quickly

One of the tools I teach my clients to utilize when they feel anxious is called Grounding. When your mind is racing mind, grounding brings you back to the here-and-now and is very helpful in managing overwhelming feelings or anxiety. It is a great way to calm down quickly. Grounding basically means to bring your focus to what is happening to you physically, either in your body or in your surroundings, instead of being trapped by the thoughts in your mind that are causing you to feel anxious. It helps…

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Supporting Your Teen During the Global Pandemic

Not quite sure how to support your teen during this global pandemic? Being a Teen can be challenging in "normal" times. Right now, teens are experiencing life in a way they never have before right along with us as parents. I'm discussing ways you can support them during these uncertain times. Reach out and let us know how we can help you.

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