We Can Help You Recover From Broken Trust, Affairs, and Infidelity
Infidelity Counseling in Austin, Texas
Have you discovered your partner has had an affair?
Are you shocked, overwhelmed, and experiencing a wide range of emotions?
Are you wondering if your relationship can survive this betrayal?
Have you had an affair and want to work to save your marriage?
You don’t have to go through this alone. At Relationships Matter Austin, we are here to help support you during this overwhelming and confusing time.
If you are the one learning of the affair, right now you are struggling to catch your breath. You are shocked and devastated. Discovering our partner has been unfaithful is probably one of the most devastating that can happen us in a relationship.
After the discovery of an affair, life gets intense.
If you just found out about an affair, you may be lost in disbelief. Everything you once thought you knew is now false, and your entire relationship is being examined under a microscope. Emotions can feel like a rollercoaster; from angry to depressed, from hopeless to hopeful. This traumatic event needs quick action and couples counseling after an affair may be what you need to recover.
There are many definitions for what constitutes having an affair. It can often mean that one person had a sexual and/or intimate relationship with someone outside of the marriage. However, an affair might also mean that someone cheated emotionally- an emotional relationship in which one person has a strong emotional connection with someone outside of the relationship can also create strife. Yet other affairs may include online relationships or pornography. At Relationships Matter Austin, many times we see that a couple has two different definitions of what an affair is, and the views often create another added stress. Either way, trust has been broken in the marriage and healing needs to start after an affair.
Healing for both partners- the one who had the affair and the one who discovered it
Maybe you are the one who had the affair. Once you have either told your partner or they discovered it, you have lots of feelings of your own. It can be common to go through a grief process when ending the affair relationship and also feel shame and guilt for keeping secrets from your partner. It can be incredibly difficult to watch your partner hurt knowing that it is caused by the choices you made.
It is possible to heal and build a stronger relationship.
Infidelity is a serious issue for couples and needs to be worked through in a delicate manner.
We recommend couples counseling after an affair because it helps couples find healthy ways to heal the attachment injury. Time is of the essence. You should take quick action if you want to heal your relationship after an affair.
Couples counseling can benefit your relationship after an affair:
- A safe and supported space for each partner to process their feelings
- Learn how to effectively rebuild trust and the relationship through actions and words
- Get to the root of why the affair became an option and happened in the first place
- Understand the steps to get reassurance from your partner (or give reassurance) when haunting memories pop up
- Recover from hurt and blame, and learn how to forgive
- Heal the attachment wound from the affair and create a secure attachment
- Learning how to watch and catch signs to prevent future infidelity pains
- Show remorse and ask for forgiveness that is effective
We Can Help You Restore the Emotional Safety and Trust in Your Relationship after an Affair.
It is important to understand why the affair occurred, that is, what in the betraying partner fueled the betrayal, and how the two of you can work together to affair-proof your relationship for the future. Counseling can support you through this process.
Infidelity and Affair Counseling- Frequently Asked Questions
I am so angry and hurt. I don’t know whether I should stay in the relationship or leave.
We understand that you are in a state of crisis and shock upon learning that your partner has had an affair. It is important to engage in self-care practices to support your well being during this phase. One way to support yourself is to enlist the support of a trained, licensed mental health counselor who has experience supporting individuals and couples who have been through this. Whether you do that in couples therapy or you come individually, it is very important for both you and your partner to have support during this distressing time. In session with your therapist, you will have a safe and confidential space to work through your feelings and figure out your needs in regards to your relationship. It is important to not jump to making important decisions when we are in panic. First, let’s support your nervous system so it can come out of fight, flight, or freeze. Counseling can help you have more emotional balance again.
Can relationships survive an infidelity?
Yes, they can! In order to survive and thrive after an infidelity, you and your partner have to earnestly work on recovering from the betrayal. You both have to understand why it occurred, that is, what in the betraying partner fueled the betrayal, and how the two of you can work together to affair-proof your relationship, to make it so strong that you never have to worry about infidelity again. We have found that the couples who commit to this work find that their relationship becomes stronger, more committed, happy and more resilient than it ever was before the devastation of the betrayal.
Can our relationship recover without seeing a therapist?
Yes, but often there is more thorough healing and growth when a therapist facilitates the process. Some couples stay together but retain resentment and unfinished business. The goal is to build a stronger relationship than ever before and “affair-proof” the marriage for the future.
Healing doesn’t mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer controls our lives. -Unknown
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